Letting Go
by Pixie
Summary: Buffy lets go of her mother.


Title: Letting Go  
  
Author: Pixie  
  
Disclaimer: Sorry to disappoint, but I own them.....hehe....yeah right, I wish.  
  
Distribution: You want it? Ask first.  
  
My site: http://www.angelfire.com/rant/nowandforever/enter.html   
  
Spoilers: The Body  
  
Feedback: Yes please! It would be very much appreciated.  
  
AN: Something that I wrote because I felt like Buffy should be able to let go of her mother, or something. I just know that I wrote it because I just did.  
  
AN2: I haven't been online for awhile and I haven't written in awile and that's cause I was really really really sick. I'm very very very very sorry!  
  
  
  
  
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Something was different. He could feel it in his bones. He could sense an alteration in the atmosphere.  
  
He could sense that something was going to happen. And he had a feeling it had something to do with the petite, blonde slayer in Sunnydale.  
  
  
******  
  
  
The night air was cool, the wind softly drifted around Sunnydale as it rustled the dead leaves that had fallen on the ground. The flowers were blooming and the crickets were singing its song. It was a sign of the approaching spring.  
  
And Buffy Summers couldn't bring herself to care.  
  
It had been a week since her mother's death and it had been a week since she stopped caring as well.  
  
It had been a week ago that she had lost her mother and with her mother was the last thread of hope that she had. The hope that she had been able to keep burning even after the abandonment of whoever was dear to her. Even after Angel left, she had been able to rekindle the hope, albeit it had taken a long time before it even started to burn.  
  
And when it did, she had met Riley. She had thought that he would never leave her, that he would not leave her as Angel had, never to return again. But she had been wrong. And her fire died a little, but her mother's sickness had dwindled its flames even more. And it had been able to burn somewhat bright once more, before it was put to death by the demise of her mother.  
  
Two days ago, her mother had been put under the ground. She had not cried then, nor did she cry now. She didn't think she could anymore, but, than again, she hadn't cried even when she found out her mother was dead.  
  
She didn't have any tears, after everything she's been through, she had no tears left.  
  
But she *wanted* to cry, she wanted to feel *something,* but the pain that it would bring would only shatter her already broken heart.  
  
The night air was getting colder, but she didn't seem to feel it. Shuffling her numb feet on the gravel as she walked to an unknown destination.  
  
She had wanted to get some fresh air, she had wanted to get away from the worrying glances of her friends and the concerned look on Spike's face.  
  
She had left with no jacket and now she was walking aimlessly away. But, the farther she got away from her mother's house, the less numbness she felt. She began to feel a little of the ice covering her heart begin to melt, if only by a little.  
  
She looked around at her surroundings. It looked familiar.  
  
And then she remembered.  
  
She was in the forest, on a bridge that overlooked the river. She remembered this place. She only passed through it once before, and that was when she had chased after Riley.  
  
That had been useless of her to even go after him. She knew in her heart, before her mind ever did, that she would never love him with all of her heart. She knew that he would get heart in the end, and so would she. There had been a voice that had whispered these things to her, but she had shut them off, because she had wanted to please Angel. She had wanted to do what Angel had wanted for her, that normal life that he could never give her.  
  
But, in the end, she only ended hurting another person that could've been avoided.  
  
That's all that she seemed to be doing. Hurting and driving people away from her.  
  
Her father had done it, what had led her to think that it would not happen again?  
  
But it had, and, this time, it had nearly broken her.  
  
She had lost Angel, not once, but twice. And she still remembered the pain that had gone through her when she had realized it. She had driven her Angel away from her and she knew it was her fault, no matter what he claimed to say.  
  
Angel had been her savior when she had been drowning in self-pity after her father had left. He had been able to help her undo the thin sheet of ice that had covered her heart after the divorce of her mother and father. He had made her care and to take her slaying duties. He had molded her into who she had been, and he had squashed her like clay when he had broken up with her and left town.  
  
It had taken a long while before she had been able to get back on her own two feet without having to think about the departure of Angel every single minute.  
  
But she had survived, barely.  
  
And then, along comes Riley. He had been a nice person to hang with and be with. But she had never exactly *been* with him the way that she had with Angel. And, in the end, that had only ended up hurting him as well as herself.  
  
And when she had lost them both, she had had her mother. But, not anymore.  
  
Her mother had been an anchor for her, she had been there when Buffy had needed to talk to someone. Her mother had been like a best friend to her. They had been close and she treasured every single moment that she had been able to spend with her.  
  
She hadn't been able to let go of the fact that her mother was dead, and now she realized why.  
  
She hadn't been able to tell her mother that she loved her and that she was sorry that she hadn't been able to save her.  
  
Looking down at the river, seeing herself reflected in the moonlight, she realized why she couldn't move on.  
  
She hadn't been able to let go of her mother, she had been keeping her mother with her because she never wanted her to leave. And now was the time for her to let go so that her mother could go to heaven and rest in peace.  
  
Staring at her own eyes, she whispered in the air.  
  
"Good-bye, mother."  
  
And she felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.  
  
"It's about time you let go of her, you know. She needed her peace."  
  
A soft voice said behind her.  
  
She turned around to see Angel in all of his glory, dressed in his usual attire.  
  
Angel smiled at her and opened out his arms.  
  
Buffy smiled the first smile in a long time and went into his arms for the comfort that she knew she would find.  
  
"I missed you." She whispered.  
  
"I missed you, too." He answered.  
  
"I love you, Angel."  
  
"I love you, beloved. Let's go home."  
  
They walked back hand in hand as the heavens rejoiced.  
  
And, from above, an angel smiled down at the couple. An angel that was Joyce Summers.  
  
And bells could be heard through Sunnydale, for Joyce had been able to right the wrong that she had caused when she had visited Angel.  
  
"Be careful, Buffy." She whispered.  
  
And the clouds swallowed her up, but her spirit could be seen in the moonlight river beneath, where a white roses grew by the river-bend.  
  
  
++The End++  
  
Bad ending, right?  
  
Oh well.  
  
Please send feedback! 


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